I thought I’d survive
I thought my hands wouldn’t shake
I thought I could keep my distance
I hoped you’d forget about me.
There is no space. Don’t fear the silence.
You, your wet dress, the Vines tangling from your shoulders to your hips
And then you came back, I could barely sleep
I kissed you with blindfolds in front of your party
I ate glass. I drank ink.
I bled in my car while you slept in your bed
I tried to erase all of me while you slipped into dreams
I’ve broken my jaw on every blackened branch burned into the streets like early morning shadows. I’m forgetting everything, becoming one with the sheets. I know I loved you but I know love isn’t for me. I’ll learn to be alone with fists of broken glass, I’ll keep these drinks dissolving my teeth to lose my bite. I won’t hurt anyone again. I can’t sleep this off anymore. I can’t love you anymore.
How do I apologize for disappearing? I can’t. I can’t.